Who loves ya baby?
Not fucking me, I had been looking forward to watching the remake of Kojak featuring everyone’s fantasy B.A. Baracus Ving Rhames on TV3 last night with the same amount of anticipation you get when watching a basket full of kittens fall off a table on you’ve been framed.
I knew it would be awful, but I didn’t think it would be GOD awful. That is of course until I saw the opening credits and I thought, “uh oh”.
It seems that they wanted to make such a big deal out of the fact that Rhames was bald and sucked a lollipop to make up for the fact that they swapped a fat white Greek for a muscle bound black man that they forgot about story and acting. This is summed up within the first 15 minutes when “Kojak” confronts an armed robber and says “I ain’t afraid of dyin’”. Then the camera stays on his face for an exceptionable amount of time before (badly) panning over to the stunned face of the burglar.
Other classic lines include “see that lady? She got a tattoo on her forehead – it says hard case”. What the fuck does any of that mean? Also, “Kojak” gets beat up by a woman in the first episode, which I could pretty much guarantee would never have happened the old Kojak.
Now unfortunately for me, I usually find myself watching TV3 of a Monday anyway, because Law and Order SVU is on at 10, so I’m no doubt going to watch Kojak again, I’d be willing to give it a chance, but only one more.
Now while I’m at it, I’ll give you a quick list of Cop shows that I love, and that should never be remade. (Although I’m guessing they will be, if they’re not already)
1: Magnum P.I
2: Hill Street Blues
3: Jake and The Fat man
4: CHiPs
5: Hunter
6: TJ Hooker.
7: Columbo
8: Miami Vice (I know it’s being remade – but I don’t have to be happy about it)
9: Nash Bridges – a Johnson double – I actually watched the entire 6 series of these.
10: The Fall Guy – not strictly a cop show – but what the hey.
6 comments:
wow - I only briefly saw a trailer for it the other night - can't believe its shit ! Ving is the man though .. usually !
And you just know that the long-rumoured big screen remake of the A Team is going to be horrendous.
You know how good that programme was?
We named our first dog Murdoch!
THAT'S how good!
Suckas!
I know man, re-makes can be terrible.
1: Dukes of Hazzard
2: The Fog (shut it foley)
Next they'll be remaking films that aren't that old.
3: Brokeback mountain.
- although I saw a trailer for the new pink panther movie and laughed my ass off.
(shame)
Well lads on this same topic - today I saw a posterfor "The Hills have Eyes" which looks to be a remake of the old horror which I saw, when I was about 10, in my brother's godparents house. Great babysitters - let's scare the bejesus out of these two kids. Tagline "Where the lucky ones die first" LOL
OK - they can remake the gick out of Nash Bridges for all I care. Let's face it, it couldn't be worse.
Kojak memory:When I was a kid, myself and my brother were singing the Kojak theme tune: "Dee dee-de-deee dee..." and we got given out to because our folks thought we were singing "Diddy"
The Dukes of Hazzard was piss poor too.
(The Fog was shite - couldn't let it slide)
hahaha - you couldn't let it die foley.
The hills have eyes actually looks like a good re-make.
and to be fair - I enjoyed the remake of the texas chainsaw massacre more than the original.
I also enjoyed the remake of Amityville - but not more than the original.
so I suppose, like anything, If it's done right - then it can be good.
And Foley - Nash Bridges rocked!
bub.
Post a Comment