So my month long Thai odyssey has come to an end. I’m back in good old Eire, slightly browner and bizarrely lighter.
Without boring the shits out of you like I have been to anyone who’ll listen about my holidays, I thought it would be interesting to do a wee report on what I saw in Thailand as a first timer, and what better way to do that than in an A-Z?
(there’s probably lots of better ways, but just indulge me for godssake)
A is for Ants
After a few too many beers, you might be forgiven for looking at the ground and thinking it’s moving. In Thailand, it is. No matter where you are, or what you’re doing, there’s an Ant somewhere busying away, the further north into the jungle we got, the bigger and meaner the ants became, we were told that in Thailand 60 people die a year from Ants, not sure how true that is, because I only got one Ant bite in a month and it didn’t hurt at all. (flexing muscles)
B is for Bangkok
Without doubt, Bangkok is the most exciting place I’ve ever been to in my life, the most exciting and equally terrifying place. Words can’t really describe the hustle and bustle and the smells and sounds of the place, but lets just say I was glad I only spent a few nights there, because I was mentally shot afterwards. Whether you’re touring the vast markets looking for bargains (of which you’ll get plenty) or strolling through Pah Pong trying to avoid the come on attempts of the hookers and pimps alike, you’ll need plenty of energy to navigate your way through the city.
C is for Chiang Mai
A Different world in comparison to Bangkok, about 1 hours flight from the capital Chiang Mai boasts beautiful jungles and a lovely little city, the Chiang Mai curry and Chiang Mai sausage are delicious also.
C is also for Cooking Class
It’s a bit touristy I know, but I WAS A TOURIST and one who loves his Thai food too, so I took it upon myself to enrol in the Baan Thai cookery school. We spent half the day touring the markets for our ingredients, and we were then given a fairly basic run down of what we were going to be doing, so we ended up cooking a Tom Yam Gai, (spicy sour chicken soup), a Pad Thai, (chicken, egg and noodles with some veg), a Spicy Papaya salad (hottest thing I’ve ever eaten) and a Panang Curry, (Pork, thai style curry, delicious)
Unfortunately I had a big lunch so I could only barely taste my dishes, but our instructor said they tasted lovely. (I fairly dodged that bullet).
D is for Doi Su Tep
About 40 minutes outside Chiang Mai and up in the hills there is the beautiful temple of Doi Su Tep, atop an enormous hill, you can walk up the steep steps, or get a cable car. Then you can walk around and look at the amazing Buddhist statues and temples, you can get blessed by the monk there and then generally just stroll about (shoes off please) and relax in the frightfully serene atmosphere.
E is for Elephants
It took me a while to get over this one, I was relaxing in a bar minding my own bees wax when an enormous elephant stuck his trunk right into my face looking for me to buy some pineapple sticks from this skinny little guy, basically your being mugged, but it’s only about 30cents and it’s worth it just to get the smelly thing away from your boat race, but in fairness, they are beautiful animals, and I was fortunate enough to have regular contact with them once we got up North.
F is for Farong (Falong)
That’s foreigners to you and me, the Thai people are extremely protective of the foreigners and will do anything to help you (mostly), they also have a warped sense of humour to the average joe, but after a week or so you’ll be cracking up alongside them.
My lasting memory though will be that no matter how much I stood out (and believe you me, you don’t get worse than a pale pasty Irish chap in downtown hua hin) you’ll never feel like a boner at a wedding.
G is for Go Go Bars.
Most bars that I saw would be normal restaurant bar type things until a certain hour, lets call it “THE PROZZY HOUR” when scores of scantily clad girls would descend on the bars and sit down outside trying to lure you in for a drink. The girls were actually very nice, especially when they’d see me with my girlfriend, they still called us in, but only for a chat and the craic, which I thought was nice, mind you, when I was in Bangkok I was told “100baht, for 4 girls of my choice if I sneak out to the toilet” which I thought was a bit offside.
Without boring the shits out of you like I have been to anyone who’ll listen about my holidays, I thought it would be interesting to do a wee report on what I saw in Thailand as a first timer, and what better way to do that than in an A-Z?
(there’s probably lots of better ways, but just indulge me for godssake)
A is for Ants
After a few too many beers, you might be forgiven for looking at the ground and thinking it’s moving. In Thailand, it is. No matter where you are, or what you’re doing, there’s an Ant somewhere busying away, the further north into the jungle we got, the bigger and meaner the ants became, we were told that in Thailand 60 people die a year from Ants, not sure how true that is, because I only got one Ant bite in a month and it didn’t hurt at all. (flexing muscles)
B is for Bangkok
Without doubt, Bangkok is the most exciting place I’ve ever been to in my life, the most exciting and equally terrifying place. Words can’t really describe the hustle and bustle and the smells and sounds of the place, but lets just say I was glad I only spent a few nights there, because I was mentally shot afterwards. Whether you’re touring the vast markets looking for bargains (of which you’ll get plenty) or strolling through Pah Pong trying to avoid the come on attempts of the hookers and pimps alike, you’ll need plenty of energy to navigate your way through the city.
C is for Chiang Mai
A Different world in comparison to Bangkok, about 1 hours flight from the capital Chiang Mai boasts beautiful jungles and a lovely little city, the Chiang Mai curry and Chiang Mai sausage are delicious also.
C is also for Cooking Class
It’s a bit touristy I know, but I WAS A TOURIST and one who loves his Thai food too, so I took it upon myself to enrol in the Baan Thai cookery school. We spent half the day touring the markets for our ingredients, and we were then given a fairly basic run down of what we were going to be doing, so we ended up cooking a Tom Yam Gai, (spicy sour chicken soup), a Pad Thai, (chicken, egg and noodles with some veg), a Spicy Papaya salad (hottest thing I’ve ever eaten) and a Panang Curry, (Pork, thai style curry, delicious)
Unfortunately I had a big lunch so I could only barely taste my dishes, but our instructor said they tasted lovely. (I fairly dodged that bullet).
D is for Doi Su Tep
About 40 minutes outside Chiang Mai and up in the hills there is the beautiful temple of Doi Su Tep, atop an enormous hill, you can walk up the steep steps, or get a cable car. Then you can walk around and look at the amazing Buddhist statues and temples, you can get blessed by the monk there and then generally just stroll about (shoes off please) and relax in the frightfully serene atmosphere.
E is for Elephants
It took me a while to get over this one, I was relaxing in a bar minding my own bees wax when an enormous elephant stuck his trunk right into my face looking for me to buy some pineapple sticks from this skinny little guy, basically your being mugged, but it’s only about 30cents and it’s worth it just to get the smelly thing away from your boat race, but in fairness, they are beautiful animals, and I was fortunate enough to have regular contact with them once we got up North.
F is for Farong (Falong)
That’s foreigners to you and me, the Thai people are extremely protective of the foreigners and will do anything to help you (mostly), they also have a warped sense of humour to the average joe, but after a week or so you’ll be cracking up alongside them.
My lasting memory though will be that no matter how much I stood out (and believe you me, you don’t get worse than a pale pasty Irish chap in downtown hua hin) you’ll never feel like a boner at a wedding.
G is for Go Go Bars.
Most bars that I saw would be normal restaurant bar type things until a certain hour, lets call it “THE PROZZY HOUR” when scores of scantily clad girls would descend on the bars and sit down outside trying to lure you in for a drink. The girls were actually very nice, especially when they’d see me with my girlfriend, they still called us in, but only for a chat and the craic, which I thought was nice, mind you, when I was in Bangkok I was told “100baht, for 4 girls of my choice if I sneak out to the toilet” which I thought was a bit offside.
Stay tuned my little labradors for part 2 of my Thai rundown.
Pups.
5 comments:
100 baht for 4 geebags? Jaysus, that's only €2.23 or 56c each.
Woohoo, bargain hunters, David Dickinson would have a field day at that - and I don't mean the bronzed, bespectacled, mulleted guy off BBC's Bargain Hunt either.
You call your cawk david dickinson?
legend.
NO!
(glance)
jaysus that photo of you and the elephant, it actually looks like you've just popped that sucker out!!
Welcome back mate - this A-Z idea deserves a separate website all to itself! Brilliant idea.
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